Roulette
by Iron Zombie
Summary: The agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. play roulette... cupcake roulette. This has kind of evolved into the Food Roulette game... :D
1. Cupcake Roulette

**Inspired by smarty-wanna-party**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or its characters.**

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Nobody knows whose idea it was, nor does it matter really. The important thing is that the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. are going to play cupcake roulette. If you're not familiar with the game, it's like Russian roulette… with cupcakes. Basically, there are six cupcakes, one for each agent, but one is rigged… with tuna. Yeah, you heard right, one of the cupcakes has tuna inside.

So one by one, the agents choose a cupcake and must take a massive bite out of it, and hope that their cupcake isn't the one that has tuna in it.

The agents all gathered around the bar (a really nice one, in Director Fury's opinion) and Agent Simmons placed a tray of six cupcakes on it. They were covered in chocolate icing and rainbow sprinkles scattered over the top.

Agent Ward was sitting on a bar stool, shaking his head and thinking about how it was a stupid game, and Skye sat beside him grinning, thinking this was so cool. FitzSimmons were both calculating how not to get the rigged cupcake, May was studying the cupcakes, and Coulson was… well, Coulson.

"Can we start already?" Skye whined, eager to begin this sweet, sweet game of roulette.

"Give me a second…" Fitz said, staring down the cupcakes. "Okay, we can begin."

"Great!" Skye exclaimed, rubbing her palms together.

"Whose stupid idea was this, anyway?" Grant muttered as Skye chose a cupcake. Her decision was made by picking the one with the most sprinkles. Skye loooved sprinkles. She took a massive bite out of the cupcake, and was met with more cupcake: no tuna.

"Yes!" she exclaimed, a few crumbs escaping her mouth. "Your turn Ward!"

He shook his head again before picking up a cupcake, any cupcake and taking a big bite out of it. Nothing. He was clean. He kept a straight face and continued eating the cupcake.

Agent May stuck her hand out and snatched a cupcake from the tray and paused before shoving the thing into her mouth. No tuna either.

You could now see Fitz and Simmons beginning to sweat. Their odds of getting a rigged cupcake were one out of six. Now they were one in three. Beads of sweat slid down both their foreheads, but amazingly, Phil remained completely calm. He lifted a cupcake gracefully from the tray and brought it up to his mouth. His hand lingered there for a second before he took a big bite out of the cupcake. He smiled even though his mouth was full. Coulson had escaped the evil tuna cupcake.

FitzSimmons shared a look before Fitz grabbed a cupcake. Jemma resorted to nibbling at her nails, nervous about her possibly being the one to get the tuna cupcake.

Leo took a big bite out of his cupcake. Then he coughed and gagged… and spat out the rest of the cupcake onto the bar. Skye, May, Ward and Coulson dispersed, while Jemma sat there, cheering, not caring that tiny pieces of chewed up tuna had ended up on her blouse. But who really cares about clothes? She escaped the evil cupcake… and Fitz was completely and utterly regretting participating in cupcake roulette.

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**A/N**

**Good? Bad? Meh? Leave your thoughts in a review! :D**


	2. Popcorn Roulette

**A/N**

**Hey guys, I decided to make this more than just a one-shot. Maybe a six-shot if i'm up to it. :) I saw Thor: The Dark World today! Awesome movie, one of my favourites! Also, if you guys have any ideas for future games of roulette, please let me know!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.**

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After Fitz's absolutely disgusting result in the last game of roulette the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. played, he was wasn't exactly excited when Jemma had suggested to play another round. This time, it was going to be popcorn.

So you ask, how on earth can you play roulette with popcorn? Well, Jemma, used her science-y brain to conjure up something fantastic. She divided her engineered popcorn into six different cups. But one cup contained special popcorn. Popcorn that contained an almost lethal dose of popping candy. Let's just say she enjoyed their game of cupcake roulette waaay too much.

Jemma grabbed all of the cups, some in her hands, while some wedged between her arm and body while she carried the cups out to the bar. She placed them all down and shuffled them, completely losing track of which cup had the rigged popcorn.

Once she had done so, she whistled loudly and everyone came rushing in. Their mouths moved into frowns when they saw why Jemma had called them. Another game of roulette.

Ward peeked into one of the cups and said, "It's just popcorn."

"Yes. And we're playing popcorn roulette," Jemma confirmed. Everybody groaned.

Every agent in the team sat around the bar and glared at the cups while Jemma slapped her hands together and grinned.

"Okay, let's get this over with," May said, picking out a cup at random and emptying its contents into her mouth, tapping the butt of the cup to speed up the process.

She chewed, and nothing happened. May slapped the cup on the table and gestured to Skye to choose next.

"No! Knowing my luck, I should pick next!" Fitz exclaimed, snatching a cup at random and pouring the popcorn in his mouth. Nothing happened, no explosions in his mouth. He threw up his arms and did a little victory dance.

Skye rolled her eyes and chose a cup. She poured it into her hand and then put the popcorn in her mouth. She waited, but nothing happened. She began to chew when she suddenly scrunched up her nose. She spat out the popcorn and let out a scream. You could literally hear the popping candy as it danced in her mouth like a five year old on a sugar high. She ran to the sink as quickly as she could and shoved water in her mouth repeatedly, while Simmons jogged after her, trying to tell Skye that the popping candy doesn't react well with water, but Skye didn't hear, and she only realised when the popping got louder and more violent.

"Simmons!" she tried to scream, but she wasn't too successful since pieces of the candy collided with the walls of her mouth. Jemma shoved a piece of bread in Skye's mouth and the popping died down.

"Thank you," Skye tried to say, but her words were muffled by the bread. She glanced over at the team who all, apart from May, were on the ground, laughing their heads off, and Grant was the loudest.

Skye glared at him, her eyes telling him that he'll be next. She'll make sure of it.


	3. Pie Roulette

**A/N**

**Hey guys! This one's short and sweet, and hopefully the next ones will be longer. Please review with suggestions, as I really need some if I want to keep this story going, which I do :) Also, please check out my other Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. stories, 'Hung Up' and 'Prank War: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Edition'**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or its characters.**

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Skye skipped out of the Bus's kitchen, holding a tray of six small pies. She had a massive grin on her face. Yep, she and the gang were going to play pie roulette, whether they liked it or not.

She placed the tray carefully on the bar and called for the others to come.

"Guys! Come up here for a sec!" she called, using the intercom for good measure. A moment later all the other agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Coulson were standing beside the bar, groaning.

"Come one, lighten up! Get in the spirit of roulette, you're not going to die," Skye said cheerfully.

"Knowing your cooking, we probably will," Grant said, taking his usual seat at the bar. Skye smiled a fake sweet smile at him before practically forcing him to take the first pick. But no, he wanted to wait.

"Let Simmons go first! She loves this game," Ward said, and Skye sighed. "Fine."

But Simmons had a giddy smile on her face as she reached for a pie. She chewed, and swallowed, and nothing happened.

"Mmmm, beef," she said with a much brighter smile this time. Fitz rushed to pick the next pie. He loved beef pies and he completely forgot about the possibility of a rigged pie. He shoved the pie into his mouth, but froze before even beginning to chew, finally remembering that the cupcake currently dissolving in his mouth could contain who knows what. A bead of sweat trickled down the side of his face as he began to chew slowly. Lucky for him, he got plain beef. He let out a happy sigh.

Skye reached out for a pie with an obviously knowing smile on her face. Grant immediately realised this and his hand shot out and grabbed the pie. Skye knew which was the rigged pie, and he wasn't going to risk getting it. He shoved the pie in his mouth and chewed confidently. He suddenly scrunched his nose, and spat out the pie.

"What the hell's in this?!" he yelled, washing out his mouth with water.

"Prunes," she said with a smirk. She got him.

"You are gonna pay, Skye."

Skye just responded with a sarcastic, "Sure."

"You just wait. I'll get you!" he continued.

"Mmhmm."


	4. Jelly Roulette

**A/N**

**Here it is, the fourth chapter of Roulette! Only three more to go after this! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or its characters.**

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Ward grinned devilishly as he sprinkled an excessive amount of chilli powder into one cup of jelly mixture. There was almost more chilli than actual jelly! He mixed the powder in the cup thoroughly so the chilli wasn't visible before pouring water into each cup and then putting the cups into the fridge to set. He couldn't wait to see the look on the victim's face. And he hoped that it'd be Skye. Maybe Ward (and the rest of the team no less) was a little nuts.

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"Guys, come up to the bar," Ward called through the intercom while setting up the cups of jelly. He mentally kicked himself for losing track of the one with chilli in it. He could already hear the groans of the others as they made their ways from the other side of the bus. Skye was the first to arrive.

"Aww, looks like Ward is getting in the spirit of roulette!" Skye exclaimed. She patted his back as she passed him, saying, "I'm proud of you," and brought a hand up to her eye, pretending to tear up.

As the others made their way to the bar one by one, they all pondered what kind of surprise was in one of the jelly cups.

"I volunteer to go first!" Simmons exclaimed, elegantly picking up a jelly cup and eating a spoonful of jelly. She smiled as the sugary goodness melted in her mouth.

"This is good," she said, mouth full, to Ward, pointing to the cup with her spoon.

Ward snatched up the next cup, which thankfully wasn't rigged. Fitz was next, who too was happy that he wasn't victim again. That only left Skye, Coulson and May.

They all knew that Coulson, though he didn't show it, loved the game and watched him with excitement as he picked a cup of jelly. He scooped a lot of jelly into his spoon and brought it up to his mouth. He quickly tipped it into his mouth… but then he froze. His face was turning a nasty shade of red and his tongue was beginning to burn. He ran to the sink and began to splash water into his mouth as FitzSimmons were yelling at him that water won't help and that he should drink milk.

Coulson ran to the kitchen and grabbed a massive carton of milk and tipped it into his mouth. Half of the milk was flowing over his suit, but he managed to ease the burning.

"Ahhh," he said in relief.

The agents all wondered if and when Coulson would make his own contribution to their little roulette tradition.


	5. Ice Cream Roulette

**Hey guys! It's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry about that, but exams and assignments have been killing me. That's literally the only bad thing about being at the end of the year. I have two more weeks of grade nine! :D Partay! Anyways, you may read now ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or its characters.**

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Fitz grinned evilly as he stirred the mayonnaise into on cup of ice cream. He was a nice fellow, really, but he could be pretty evil if he put his mind to it.

He manoeuvred the spoon carefully to disguise the mayo as ice cream. He shivered as Simmons turned down the temperature in the walk-in fridge. She and Fitz had a brother-sister relationship going, so that meant that they'd argue and mess with each other constantly.

"Fitz!" she yelled through the thick glass wall. "Why are you making nonsense?"

"It's for roulette!" he yelled back. Her face seemed to light up and she quickly left to round up the other team members. Simmons loved these kinds of games, even if they came with a nasty surprise, because they were great team bonding activities.

Once Fitz had finished with his evil plot, he gathered six cups of ice cream into his arms and walked upstairs to the bar. He saw all the agents sitting there, waiting for Fitz to arrive. Simmons and Skye looked excited, Ward looked bored, Coulson looked distracted and May looked like she really didn't care.

Fitz, unlike the others, had been fair and didn't try to remember which was the rigged cup.

"Lo and behold, ice cream roulette!" Fitz announced.

Simmons clapped like a five year old and the others laughed at her gesture.

"I am starving!" Skye exclaimed. She closely examined each cup of ice cream and chose the one that looked most normal. She wolfed down all the ice cream, and was met with no mayonnaise. She smiled, satisfied after the sugary snack.

Grant was next to risk the life of his tastebuds. He took a massive spoonful and shoved it in his mouth. He smiled as the icecream melted on his tongue. His eyes suddenly widened but he quickly shut them tightly.

"Brain freeze…" he muttered through gritted teeth. Skye smiled evilly and grabbed his ice cream to finish off before Grant could get over his brain freeze.

Jemma was so excited, she just had to have the next cup. Her hand hovered over the cups as she decided which one to get. She chose one and took a big spoonful, but it wasn't as hard as ice cream, but rather soft.

She gulped. Jemma knew she had the cup of mayo ice cream, but she couldn't avoid eating it. She slowly brought up the spoon to her mouth and let the gooey treat fall into her mouth. She scrunched up her nose in disgust but managed to swallow. She immediately reached for another cup of ice cream to wash out the disgusting taste. Coulson and May reached for their cups.

"Hey!" Fitz pouted, not having a cup of ice cream for himself. Jemma patted his back and slid over her original cup of mayo ice cream, but Fitz hadn't noticed. He smiled at Jemma and took a bite out of the ice cream only to spit it out a second later.

He glared at Jemma who just shrugged and smiled before digging into her cup of ice cream.


	6. Popcorn Chicken Roulette

**A/N**

**Sup homieeess?**

**This is the second last chapter to this sweet little fic :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or its characters**

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Coulson grinned as he took the steaming tray of popcorn chicken out of the oven. If there were two things on this world that Phil Coulson loved, those were popcorn chicken and Captain America. He separated six little pieces of popcorn chicken from the whole lot and grabbed the syringe he had prepared earlier. It was filled with the brown gooey liquid also known as chocolate sauce. He stabbed the first unsuspecting piece of popcorn chicken and pressed down on the top of the syringe and watched as the sauce disappeared into the chicken. He covered the whole with a bread crumb and set the piece of meat beside the others.

This was Agent Coulson's logic:

Chicken? Gooood.

Chocolate? Goooood.

Chicken and Chocolate? Not good.

Coulson waltzed out of the Bus's kitchen and to the bar, placing the tray down and calling the others up.

When Grant arrived, he groaned and said, "Not you too, Coulson…" Coulson just smiled and waited for the others to arrive.

"Another game of roulette. Sweet," Skye said, sitting down next to Grant. Jemma's face visibly lit up when she saw the tray, despite the fact that she was the victim in the last game. Fitz, however, was not so happy.

"Oh no, not this stupid game again!" he exclaimed.

"Suck it up, princess," May said. She picked up a piece of chicken and popped it into her mouth. She didn't grimace or scrunch her nose in disgust. May was clean.

Skye had her turn, and she too managed to escape the chocolate sauce. FitzSimmons followed, both avoiding the rigged chicken. Then Coulson chose his, and he got a very nice, chocolate-free piece.

Ward gulped as Skye brought her phone up to film the scene. He stared down at the piece of chicken that he knew had the chocolate inside it. But he knew that, since both were delicious, they couldn't possibly be TOO bad together. He picked up the piece and his hand trembled. He shoved the piece inside his mouth and braced himself for the taste.

Nothing. Skye grinned as she had Grant's actions on camera, enough to prove he wasn't the man he claimed to be.

"The hell?" he asked after he swallowed his piece. "Who got the rigged chicken?"

"I don't understand," Coulson said. "I clearly remember injecting the sauce."

May stood and walked hurriedly away. She burst into a fit of laughter once she was far away enough.

"I'm going to kill you, May!" Ward called, chasing after her as Skye uploaded the video to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s database for all agents to see.


	7. Toffee Apple Roulette

**A/N**

**Hey guys! Last chapter is up! I might do an Avengers version of this later on, so stay posted! The toffee apple part of this was inspired by ****_little-miss-book-worm-95. Ophelia Lokisdottir _****also had a big contribution to the idea of this chapter. I had so much fun writing this fic, and I'd like to thank all of my readers, followers, reviewers and favoriters for your awesome support! :D Thanks guys!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or its characters.**

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May placed the tray of six toffee apples on the bar and marvelled at her masterpiece for a moment before calling up the other agents. She planned to make this game of roulette unforgettable.

Skye and Simmons were the only agents who were actually excited for the game. May was too, but she didn't plan on showing it.

"Guys, seriously? Another game of roulette?" Ward asked. He really despised theses games.

"Come on, Ward! Why can't you just see the fun side of things?" Skye said. Grant glared at her but she just smirked in response. Ward began to shoot an insult at Skye and soon launched an argument with Skye. And then FitzSimmons began bickering about something scientific so Coulson and May were the only ones left. May shrugged and chose a toffee apple, the one she knew wasn't rigged. She took a massive bite out of it, and she was met with nothing out of the ordinary. She grinned as to not arise suspicion in the others' minds. Skye noticed that the game had started, as did Simmons, and they both reached for an apple. Skye bit into the apple eagerly and she began to gag. No, it wasn't the toffee, it was the apple… or rather, the lack of apple.

"Ugh onion!" she whined after spitting it out. Toffee remained in her mouth that still tasted of onion.

The others all took an apple from the tray and took big bites from them, and a collective "Onion!" sounded. The agents all coughed and gagged on the gross oniony taste.

After they'd gotten most of the onion out, the turned to the Cavalry and yelled, "MAY!"

May just shrugged and turned to walk away as the other desperately fought over the sink to wash the awful tastes from their mouths.


End file.
